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Mar 13, 2023

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Reframing uncertainty


Uncertainty is not something we love as humans.


Often the fear of it will keep us in situations that aren’t good for us simply because that fear of uncertainty and what could happen is so strong.


But what if we could reframe it?


What if we could totally change the way we view uncertainty and not have all the answers?


Would that change your behaviour and your decisions?


As humans we’re wired to seek certainty and repeat familiar patterns because that’s safe.


When we can get on board with the idea of being comfortable being uncomfortable, the whole world opens up.


I’m so thankful I have wired myself for this over the years, especially with my personal situation having a huge amount of uncertainty at the moment.


That’s not to say it doesn’t affect me, of course it does, you can’t expect it not to. 


BUT it means I can begin to talk myself round pretty quickly.


The more you practice reframing the things that are uncertain, the easier it is to handle because you’re utilising good old neuroplasticity to literally rewire your brain and nervous system to tolerate it.


As per usual this is where all the glorious tools for emotional and nervous system regulation come into effect.


It’s also where understanding that we are not our thoughts, but the observer of our thoughts is hugely important. 


The more you can catch your thoughts spiraling to the negative, the more you can talk back. Rationalise with them. Be curious about them and question them instead of blindly accepting them as fact.


This is a skill that you can absolutely learn.


Neuroplasticity at work again. Hooray!


This is very much how I trained myself to stop being Eeyore on a bad day, catastrophising and expecting the worst to being someone who even when the negative thought pops up can automatically go ‘hang on, is that true? What else is also true?’


It’s a very magical skill let me tell you!


So even in the midst of the most uncertainty I've ever experienced I've still managed to create some.


How could that change things for you?


To find certainty in the uncertainty?


The main way I do this is in the way I question myself.


Where CAN you create some certainty?


What do you have control over?


When can you think of a time that things were uncertain and it led to amazing things coming into your life?


I’ve been speaking to a lot of you over on Instagram really struggling with a lack of certainty. 


Most of you have been business owners but lots of people in corporate roles too.


What does that tell you?


Uncertainty is something we need to learn to live with right?


It doesn’t matter if you have a job or a business there is always some level of uncertainty to deal with.


So…the more we learn to tolerate that and reframe that uncertainty the better right?


My favourite way to do this, and something I've genuinely been writing in my gratitude journal every night, is to think about all the potential positive possibilities that could be available to you.


Ooooof I love it.


Our brains tend to go to all the assumptions we make and to all the ways this uncertainty could be a really negative thing.  Think job loss, business shifts, relationship breakdowns etc.


What COULD it lead to?


What could you get excited about in the uncertainty?


If you’re being made redundant, what could this mean for you in a positive way?


Will it allow you to have a career shift?


Does it give you an opportunity to sink your teeth into something new that could be so much better for you?


Could it lead to MORE happiness?


If your business is struggling at the moment because of the seismic shifts that have been going on in the world for the last few years and not showing any signs of stopping, could you think of a new programme or service you’d love to sell?


Is there a totally different way to earn money that you’d love to explore?


Could you get a part time or full time job at the same time to take the pressure off and support you?


What could that look like?  Could that be fun?  Could that get you out of the house and meeting new people?  Could it increase your confidence?


If your relationship has ended how could it be a positive thing? 


Relationship breakdowns are brutal and a huge upheaval but can you be excited about finding yourself again?


Trying new things that you wouldn’t have within the relationship?


Meeting someone new that you might be happier with?


Being able to have that flurry of excitement again around meeting someone new?  The first time they hold your hand or that first kiss?


How can you think about something differently that could create a total physiological shift for you?


There really can be so much to be excited about when things are rocky. Even though it might not feel like it at the time. 


A lot of the time the thing we add to it that really doesn’t help is the feeling of other people’s judgement of that situation.


How would you feel if you put that aside?


What different decisions would you make?


How are YOU viewing your situation that you might judge in someone else?


Can you shift that?


How would it shift things if you focussed on the short term rather than panicking about the big, huge gargantuan big picture view?  This is where mindfulness can come in incredibly handy.


At the end of the day the only thing that’s certain in life is uncertainty.