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Mar 29, 2021

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Do you know how to REALLY rest?


Do you know how to rest?  I mean REALLY rest?


The kind you actually get the benefits from as opposed to the kind where you TELL yourself you’re resting but really your mind is racing, you’re scrolling social media, online shopping (GUILTY AS CHARGED!) and you’re feeling guilty about this imaginary ‘rest’ all at the same time!


Not the kind of things we ‘pretend’ are rest but actually end up using MORE mental energy and making us feel worse!


If you think you’re ‘resting’ but still exhausted...this could be why!


Rest will INCREASE productivity and focus.  


Rest allows your brain and body to repair itself.


Rest allows your memory to be optimal.


You need it to be able to formulate ideas and listen to your intuition. actually NEED rest to be able to get anything DONE!


When you DON’T rest, you will procrastinate more as your body and brain’s way of trying to force you to take a break.


You’re more easily overwhelmed.


Your memory and cognitive function are impaired. do a worse job at the things you’re trying to do so you may as well take the bloomin rest!


You ignore the physical symptoms that might be SCREAMING at you!


The headache, the backache, the illness...


Also your ability to problem solve and think on your feet are impaired. Your brain feels foggy!


How much harder does everything feel when you haven’t had some proper rest in a while?


How are you with decision making?  Problem solving?  Handling things you hadn’t planned for?  How do you show up in relationships?  With your kids?  How innovative do you feel?


If you struggle to rest, stop, switch off, there could be more at play that might need delving into where it could feel ‘unsafe’ to your nervous system. 


Or you could need to ‘DO’ all the time so you don’t have time for the quiet, where the thoughts creep in! 


We also have to be honest about the societal glorification of ‘work’.  ‘Beast mode’. Push, push, push. 


Rest can be seen as ‘weak’. Or ‘slacking off’ in some way.


It’s also worth mentioning how often it’s reinforced too! 


‘You’re doing such a great job’, ‘you’re working so hard, you must be doing SO well!’ ‘I really appreciate all your hard work, thank you.’


Validation and praise indeed!


It’s craziness when you really think about it.


There’s so many reasons it could feel like a struggle to rest because you’re working against all of this.  Hence the guilt!


You know you need it...but all the unconscious pressure takes hold.


You could be following a parental or primary caregiver pattern.  


Lots of potential things that once you make conscious, can be healed and changed.


It could be a coping or protection mechanism that can be helped with some emotional regulation tools and techniques.


There could be some unconscious beliefs of ‘i’m not good enough’ at play causing you to over work and feel ‘guilty’ for taking time off. Perhaps you think you don’t ‘deserve’ it, or haven’t ‘earned’ it!


We need to challenge those thoughts pronto!


What are you telling yourself resting means?


You’re wasting time?


You’re not successful?


Who told you that? 


Where did you pick it up from?


Sometimes it can even be something totally misguided from when we were young where we were told we were ‘lazy’ when we were resting or ‘doing nothing’or sleeping in late.


We actually learn that it’s a BAD thing to do!  


So no WONDER it comes with guilt and can feel hard sometimes.


Look how much we’re up against unconsciously.


Pick it apart and see where the truth really sits.


So, we’ve assessed that rest is important.


What next?


If taking a week or even a day off right now feels too much, how could you start to train in little bits of rest in your day or week?


It’s part of the reparenting process.  Figuring out these little ways in which you can do things that are good for you.


That benefits you.


Wire treating yourself well into your brain and nervous system.


That starts with challenging the narrative.


Then it’s the small ways that we can start looking after ourselves and start keeping promises to ourselves.  (watch how your self esteem and self trust starts to grow with this too!)


So what REALLY helps you mentally and physically switch off?


I’m a BIG fan of a power nap.  I’ve talked about this a lot.  It really is a reset for your brain.


Walking or sitting in nature and being mindful is a great way to give yourself some rest from the whirring thoughts and to do lists.


Meditation is of course a biggie for this and you can grab my free stressed to success meditation as a starting point.  It’s in the shownotes and my bio on’s everywhere...go get it! I also have some meditations available in the shop on my website


What could you do to make sure you’re getting more REAL rest?


For me rest is really about listening to my body and setting some boundaries.


We can probably all agree it would be easy to fill all our hours with work as a business owner.  


Firstly, hopefully because we love what we do.


But also because the agenda is’ll never get to the bottom of a to do list, it just evolves over time.


Boundaries like, no computers after 9pm.  Finishing around 5 every day.  Not working weekends.  No ‘work’ before 9am.


I set my phone to ‘do not disturb’ between 9am and 9pm every single day.  So the only way I see notifications is if I intentionally decide to do it.  Which becomes my choice rather than an unconscious draw of a dopamine hit when you see the little pings pop up like little temptresses trying to steal your attention!


What do you like to do to unwind?  


How can you do more of it?


The bottom line is, if you don’t take this seriously and you get to the stage of burnout where you’re REALLY forced to that a better alternative??


Probably not!


Don’t allow the hustle culture to suck you in.  You set the rules!