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Nov 30, 2020

How To Get Gratitude To Work For You

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How To Get Gratitude To Work For You


Have you been doing the ‘gratitude thing’ that everyone talks about but something’s not quite clicking for you, and you’re trying to figure out how to get gratitude to actually work for you?


I’ve got you.


Now, You can listen all the way back to episode one titled ‘how to journal for the non dear diary type’ to hear me banging on about how amazing incorporating a daily gratitude habit is for your mind.


It’s what was the beginning of my journey from Eeyore on a bad day to having hosted about 160 episodes of The Positive Pants Podcast.


Gratitude is magic.


As a daily practice, and in the tough times.  But it’s not a thing that you ‘do’ it’s a way of life.


Some side effects of practicing gratitude regularly include:

- Less stress.

- More kindness, to others and yourself.

- Better relationships, with others and yourself.

- More happiness.

- Better sleep.

- Higher self esteem.

- Less negative self talk.

- More relaxation.

- More resilience.

- More mindfulness.

- More presence.

- More positivity.

- Taking more action.

It’s living mindfully.  It’s perspective. So some of these are definitely good to have in your back pocket as a business owner right?!


It’s the starting point I teach my clients, well, everybody, when they want to make changes in their lives.


Consistently writing down 3 things per day that you’re grateful for is the most common way to ‘do’ gratitude.  


So often it’s a small list for you to write one or two words.




The biggest mistake I see is doing your gratitude as if it’s a box you need to tick off. 


What I mean by this is the thought process really isn’t in it.


And that’s the part you need.


That’s the important part because the EMOTION of gratitude is what starts to make the changes in your brain that you want.


That’s what re-wires your neural pathways through a process called neuroplasticity to fire and wire new networks to make gratitude your path of least resistance.


So what that means is that becomes your go to way of thinking.


So you can see how that would help with perspective, resilience, patience and all that good stuff.


Which also means it’s so much easier to take action.


So this way of doing things is a frustration of mine because it’s been over simplified.  It’s also a frustration I see in clients when they think they’ve ‘tried’ gratitude and not felt the benefits.


It’s really similar with meditation. 


It’s making assumptions of how it ‘should’ be and when we’re wired for instant gratification if you don’t see results straight away it’s easy to give up.


Which is the other common mistake I see, giving up too soon.


When you’re practicing gratitude there’s a lot going on in your noggin.  You’re wiring new neural networks like I said, and this doesn’t happen overnight.


Most gratitude journals have the 3 lines included.  Which is great IF you’re already a bit of a pro.


You can do the thinking process, feel the emotions and just use a word as a prompt.  A reminder.  You already know to FEEL into it.


Because of this I squirelled away and I’m SO flipping excited that my 365 day per page gratitude journal is available to byy NOW on Amazon.  


I take the time to explain all this and you have a whole day per page so you can go into detail about what it really is you’re grateful for. Why you’re grateful for it, what MAKES you grateful for it.  How does having it affect your life for the better.


So it allows you the space to dig a little deeper. 


It’s also undated.  It’s 365 days of Gratitude.  Not a year!  365 days. 


I’ve done this because when you’re trying to form a new habit you’ll inevitably miss a day from time to time and having the date there flashing you in the face can be upsetting because all our unconscious mean feelings about ourselves can come up.  


The ‘you can’t even stick to this’, ‘you’re useless’ all those fun things.


Plus it makes it easier to quit.  It’s like a diet right, i’ve eaten the donut so I may as well have the whole bag and there’s no point carrying on trying to be healthy.


I get it.  I’ve been there.  I see what other people struggle with so i’ve tried to leave that at the door so you can do the same.


Skip a day?  That’s cool, go back to it the next day and get back on that horse.


The other thing I encourage with this journal is to do the same technique of really feeling into it but with your future self.  I call it ‘future gratitude’ 


So you imagine yourself in the future, having everything you want, and you do yur daily gratitude from there!


So you could have 2 journals, one for now and one for future you.


It really helps to connect to that version of you.  The more you do the more you’ll feel the shifts in the present.


It’s using visualisation.  It’s using neuroplasticity to wire in that new version of you.  It’s activating the reticular activating system in the brain to help you filter out the opportunities.  It’s calming the ego and the amygdala (fear centre of the brain) because the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined.


It really helps prime you for having everything you want in your life.  Stepping into that future version of you.


I’m SO excited that it’s out in plenty of time for Christmas.  But, remember, it’s undated so you can start now!


You can grab yours at 


So if you haven’t quite managed to get gratitude to work for you just yet I hope this has sparked a few ideas for you.


I hope it’s helped give you a little motivation, and patience.


It really is magic and one of my favourite tools because I see the powerful shifts that it creates and I want that for you too.  Because I know you can have it.  It’s yours for the taking my love!