Oct 7, 2019
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How to have more courage
Would you like to have more Courage?
Or do you feel like you have it in droves already?
What could you achieve if you did have more?
What would you do that you don’t currently?
I was talking with my high performance coach recently where the subject of having courage came up.
It’s something I definitely have now but it 100% didn’t use to be that way. I was a quiet, scared little mouse, believe it or not!
I honestly would run the opposite direction of anything new or anything scary, I wouldn’t put myself out there for rejection or judgement of any kind.
If fear came up it would literally stop me in my tracks and that would be that for whatever dream it was I was trying to achieve at the time.
I just wouldn’t even try.
I was even worse if I DID try and had a knock back. Nothing could get me back on that horse once I'd fallen off it.
Resilience was not one of my strong points.
You can see how that pattern of behaviour didn’t get me very far, especially knowing what I know now.
Fear is a prerequisite to success. Falling off the horse is a prerequisite to success. Not the opposite of it.
That these thoughts, feelings and behaviors will have protected us at some point, and that’s exactly what the brain is trying to do, protect us.
It doesn’t distinguish between what’s good or bad for us.
Helpful or not helpful.
It just thinks in terms of safety and what’s worked in the past and staying away from anything uncertain.
The best way through that is courage.
Understanding a little bit about the brain is SUPER helpful in creating that courage, but that really is the trick.
Confidence and courage comes from doing.
It comes from training your brain that it’s all good. You’re safe.
Cognitive neuroscience proves that courage is something that can be learned and strengthened.
Along with the other lovely jubbly behaviors and traits that you want to have...whether you currently have them or not.
Positivity, resilience, courage, tenacity, whatever you want MORE of to get you where you want to be.
As with all these behaviours we want as business owners or when we’re trying to do something great, or new, the evidence tells us time and time again that we can learn and strengthen these traits.
This is AMAZING news, and why I’m always saying, who you are today doesn’t have to be who you are tomorrow.
You get to choose.
You can’t unlearn that fact.
Once you know that’s a possibility the only person getting in your way is yourself, so you need to question if you actually want what you’re going after enough.
I’m also always saying, that once I made the DECISION, when I sat day drinking staring at the anti depressants I'd just been given, that enough was enough and I didn’t want to be that negative, self defeatist person with no self esteem.
I didn’t want to be that person who constantly found excuses, played the victim and allowed external circumstances to dictate her life.
That decision was a pivotal moment in my life and EVERYTHING has changed for the better because of it.
You’re prepared to go through the discomfort and effort of the change itself when staying where you’re at is WORSE.
It was the courage to look at myself in the mirror and know I could be better.
To have the courage to say I don’t know how I’m going to do this but I’m absolutely going to find a way.
To have the courage to look at my life, my thoughts, my behaviour and my own excuses and realise my own responsibility in getting there in the first place AND to realise that I was the one with the power to get myself out of it.
It took some serious courage.
To pick apart my own life and personality piece by piece and put it back together in a way that I wanted it to be, to be who I'm actually meant to be based in my own values and what was important and how I wanted to show up for other people.
I always try to leave people feeling just a little bit better than when I met them in some small way.
I was the opposite before. I was a fun vampire and it was hard and confronting to look at that, it took courage to change it.
Having courage, or being courageous or brave isn’t about not feeling afraid ever, it’s about carrying on regardless.
So what does courage mean to you?
It means something different to each of us so I can only really tell you what it means to me.
But I do encourage you to grab your journal and ask yourself this question as an exercise.
What does courage mean to you!?
For me, it’s always taking action in spite of fear.
It’s taking action in the unknown.
Being ok with taking a risk.
Being brave and strong even when you could easily fall apart.
It’s to do something where even though something could possibly go wrong, you do it anyway.
It’s KNOWING it will work out in the end, exactly as it’s supposed to.
Knowing it may be a bumpy ride but the payoff and lessons along the way will be absolutely worth it.
It’s doing things that may not be ideal, or may be tough, for the greater outcome.
It’s carrying on in spite of fear, pain, doubt and uncertainty.
It’s learning to MANAGE that and take control of it.
It’s continuing to take action when it would be FAR easier to quit.
So what is it to you?
When you understand what it is for you, and that you’re in control and you can LEARN it and strengthen it over time what could you do today, right now, to take that first step towards that?
What have you not been doing because you felt you didn’t have the courage to?
Isn’t it incredibly empowering to know that every time it will get better and better, easier and easier? And to know that it’s absolutely completely normal and you’re just working from your own current map of the world and unconscious programming and that it can change the minute you choose for it to?
I have a group of very special ladies and we are challenging ourselves to do something once per month that terrifies us.
It could be something we’ve been holding ourselves back from, confronting a physical fear like jumping out of a plane (with a parachute of course!) but you see what I'm saying!
Fear is there to protect us and without it we can become reckless in various ways and it can put us in danger.
However, when it’s acting in spite of fear to create the life that you want then courage is something you’ll want to find.
It doesn’t have to be something big, just that first step.
Picking up the phone and calling someone you lost touch with, saying sorry for something, doing your first facebook live, reaching out to a potential client.
It really doesn’t matter what it is, or in which area of your life because if you strengthen that courage muscle in one area of your life it strengthens it in another.
So, what small step are you going to take today?
If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!
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