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Sep 2, 2019

Are You Being Yourself?

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Are you being truly yourself?


This is an important topic at the moment with so much noise in the online business space.


I recently did a post on Instagram,if you’re not following me over there you may rectify that now @franexcellcoach ;-) and it really seemed to hit a nerve with people.


It was about how much I used to care about what other people thought of me.  I put so much importance on it I struggled to be myself, and it got me nothing but unhappiness in all honesty.  


When I started to really own exactly who I was, my quirks, my foibles, the fact that I love singing Disney way too much for a 35 year old, that I would be the definition of a crazy dog lady, that my obsession with inspirational quotes on things is out of control and I allowed myself to just absolutely 100% me with a ‘take me or leave me, either one is cool’ kind of attitude life became immeasurable better. 


I’ve said before, you can’t be liked by everyone and that’s ok!


So how does that relate to your business?


Firstly, there’s too many cookie cutter carbon copies in the industry and the only way you’re going to stand out is if you do things your way, from your perspective, with your expertise.  


It can be scary when someone asks what your secret sauce is, what makes you different and you have NO clue! But this is where you have to do the work.  Ask the hard questions of yourself.


When you’re 100% yourself trust is built far more quickly.  People want to have an emotional connection with you, and that is built through trust.  


Trust can take time to build and be gone in a second so the best way to grow it and keep it is to always be authentic to who you are and act with integrity.  


People will feel it and it will build deep connections with people resonating with your message, but not just your message, YOU, who you are.  If you get caught out in a little white lie it can be gone for good.


The next benefit of being yourself is you’ll draw the right people to you.  I’ve spoken about this before. You want to draw people with shared values to you, and repel the people who just aren’t for you. You can only do that by operating from your own values, your own belief systems and thought processes.


Next up, you won’t feel like a fraud.  This is a big one. Ask yourself if you feel like an imposter because you’re kind of being one!  


Subconsciously you will always sabotage yourself because deep down you know you’re not being completely honest.


The next benefit of really being yourself is everything will feel so much easier and way less stressful! You can breathe a sigh of relief. 


It can be super scary I get it, the fear of judgement is REAL people!  However, if you can really grasp that not everyone can love you and that’s ok, that being yourself is the best way to be to build relationships and let go of that fear of being judged (because I hate to tell you it’s gonna happen!) it’s absolutely freeing.


Work with your strengths AND weaknesses


People WILL feel it when you’re not yourself. Their ‘spidey senses’ will be firing on all cylinders. Think about how you feel when you suspect someone isn’t being completely honest or themselves. How does it make you feel towards them?


Take inspiration from other people sure, but find your spin on it.  If you copy in any way you will get found out.  


There’s just been a VERY big influencer who has been caught out in a lot of content ‘stealing’ where he was taking other people’s quotes and passing them off as his own, same for his video content, and his halo has unfortunately well and truly slipped. 


You can’t build a business based solely on someone else’s knowledge, you’ll always be a step behind, you will never be ‘them’ so you’ll just be chasing your tail, just don’t do it to yourself, it’s not worth it.


Think about the longevity of your business. Is it sustainable to run a business that way?  Probably not!  


There are of course other potential consequences if you’re not being yourself and your service doesn’t match up to your message.  


Your clients won’t get the results they’re expecting and you will have disappointed customers.  Which means potential refunds. Which means potential negative reviews, and you can very quickly get a bad reputation, which of course will affect your ability to make money, and have a business at all!


You will be attracting the wrong people to work with you! You will have people who are not actually in line with your values and your beliefs and that can get you into a pickle with nightmare clients.


You won’t actually be putting yourself out there in a big way anyway because you’ll feel like an impostor and be terrified if someone were to ask you a question you couldn’t answer….oh my!  So isn;t it a big waste of time anyway?


This stuff applies through all areas of your life!  


By not being yourself you could end up in the wrong relationship, the wrong job, the wrong friendships, all with things that are totally out of line with who you are, your values and your personality...You don;t want that do you?! 


It takes away anything about you that is unique.


People want to feel like they’re dealing with genuine people and creating an authentic connection so let them see that from you.  


THAT’S how you’ll stand out. You can’t create that for yourself without BEING yourself.


The bottom line is, if you’re not being completely yourself you simply won’t be happy in the long run and will take up valuable energy and head space in the process.


So, have a think, how can you inject a little more YOU into your business?


What quirks do you have that could be exactly what someone loves about you?


What experiences have you had that have shaped who you are today that other people could relate to and resonate with?


Just remember, YOU are your own super power! YOU are your own ‘secret sauce’ one else! 


If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!