Jun 18, 2018
How We Self Sabotage And How To Overcome It
What is self sabotage?
It’s literally when you sabotage yourself either consciously or unconsciously.
It’s anything that gets in our way to achieving what we want to, that we have put in our way ourselves. This can be thoughts, actions, behaviour, emotions, anything really that actively puts the kibosh on getting where we want to be.It’s when you bump into a conflict with yourself. It’s our brain keeping us all nice and cosy inside our comfort zones.
So the thing with self sabotage is that although it will actively stop you achieving what you want to….it’s also your little protection mechanism for when you don’t! It gives you your reasons and excuses for why things haven’t happened and internally let’s you off the hook.
The cavernous pit between intention and action.
You know you really WANT to do the thing….you just can’t seem to make yourself. I’ve got you covered here you can download my procrastination buster at the bottom of the page and i’ll give you some of the core reasons you’re procrastinating, how to push through it and a bonus workbook for the sticky moments to help you connect all the important dots.
I hate to tell you, you just have to take action! (You can read more tips and tricks to get through procrastination in episode 2…unless you’re procrastinating by reading it…in which case STOP!)
Excuses are GREAT for making ourselves feel better about a situation.
They give us permission to not take action.
It makes it easier to live with NOT doing something and that it’s not our ‘fault’.
Here’s a few that may be keeping you stuck.
I’m not clever enough (this was one of mine!), I don’t have time, I’m not confident, I’m not pretty enough, all the I cant’s, negative I am’s and all the ‘ not enoughs.’
They’re all rubbish and all changeable you have to just get honest. I have a tonne of content that can blast all of these out of the water, you just have to WANT to.
I learned to push through every single one and so can you.
Blaming other people and not taking responsibility is one of the biggest excuses I see. If you take responsibility you take back control!
Letting Fear And Mindset Gremlins Take Hold
There are a million fears and mindset gremlins that come up and stop us from taking any perceived ‘risks’ or moving towards something that is unknown.
The brain likes certainty and all the big things you want to achieve don’t come with that YET.
You need to show your brain what’s possible and trust me it will get easier and easier to push yourself out of your comfort zone. I’ve got more on this in episodes 11 and 22)
Not Taking Action
You MUST take action.
You can know alllll the things but if you don’t then DO the thing then you’re wasting your time, energy and effort.
It’s HARD, I hear you, trust me BUT you have to push through it and not listen to the ‘what if’s and the ‘maybes’ and get moving.
Make a decision and just MOVE.
Worrying About All The Things That ‘Might’ Happen
As a recovering pessimistic worrier you can absolutely nip this in the bud.
Ask yourselves these questions when you find yourself worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet.
Who is it helping to think this way?
Who is it harming to think this way?
Do I have any control over this situation right now?
What’s the best and worst case scenario if you DO do it?
What’s the best and worst case scenario if you DON’T do it?
Comparing Ourselves To Other People
Comparison is the thief of joy as you well know.
Stop doing it!
You’re not comparing like for like, you never can.
You can look at people who have what you want and let it drive your ambition but it’s never the full story and there will always be something that they do or have that doesn’t sit right with you.
You do you…there’s no other option and there’s no other you so own it and stop comparing your 10th step to someone else’s 10,000th!
Setting Goals So Un Achievable We’re Setting Ourselves Up To Fail
I know people always say reach for the moon and you’ll land among the stars and i’m a big believer in setting yourself lofty goals but don’t set them SO high that they’re un achievable and make you quit before you’ve even started and then use that as an excuse to not try again.
The A in SMART goals is ACHIEVABLE. If someone else has done it then you can!
Not Getting Enough Sleep
Your brain needs sleep.
Don’t buy into the hustle hustle hustle mentality.
Yes it’s work, yes it’s effort but if you don’t get enough sleep you KNOW how you’ll feel and how unproductive you’ll be so try and be strict with yourself and get your 8 hours.
Your brain needs to process your memories, solidify your learning and recharge, so let it…then you can work to the best of your ability.
Eating Badly And Drinking Too Much
I know that i’m my least productive when i’ve had any alcohol…the next day it’s like I can’t achieve anything.
I don’t actually drink very much anymore because of this.
If i’m celebrating or there’s a special occasion I will ALWAYS be mindful of what work needs to be done the next day and use that as my booze barometer!
The eating element too. I’m consciously trying to be more mindful of what I eat and how I feel after I eat it. When I eat rubbish I feel rubbish.
This is one of my favourite ways to self sabotage but i’m working on it and I KNOW i’ll get there.
Not Doing The Things We Know We Want/Need To…Then Regretting It
I always try to live by regret what you do not what you don’t do.
But in all honestly I don’t have regrets any more at all because I know there will always be a lesson in there somewhere…so the bottom line here is there is only regret in not taking action…so go take action.
There are a lot of fears on this crazy entrepreneurial journey but one you absolutely need to smash through is fearing change.
It’s going to happen. Stop focusing on what could be a change for the negative and focus on what could be a change for the positive.
OK on this one the only way through is to make a decision and take action.
You will drive yourself insane otherwise.
Listen to your intuition about what is the right decision and make it, you’re over complicating it, take it back to basics.
Get someone else to help you out of it if you know you struggle with this. (Hellooooo mindset coach right here!!)
Getting stuck in ‘research’ mode rather than doing something that may move the needle.
Getting into overwhelm because you have ‘too much’ on your plate.
This one requires a high level of honesty with what actually needs to be done and when.
Be honest about your priorities.
Always ask yourself what would happen if it didn’t get done at all?
Analyse the best and worst case scenarios of if you do or don’t do the task. That will give you your priority. (find out more tips check out episode 19)
Being Negative About Ourselves And Our Situation
Negative thoughts and emotions are going to get you nowhere FAST.
This is how I self sabotaged myself for YEARS and it was something I really didn’t like about myself because it spills out into all areas of your life and can make you bitter and all sorts of other things you don’t want to be.
Find your positive pants and kick this to the curb NOW! (Find out why in episode 20)
You will never achieve perfect.
This is just another form of procrastination. It’s very pretty procrastination….but it is procrastination.
You need to let go of any fear you have behind something not being perfect and actually realise that most people relate to the imperfect, human version of you anyway….so make that perfection instead!
Dwelling On The Past
The past is gone, the future’s not here yet. What do you have more control over?
You can only control the present.
Whatever has happened in the past look for all the positives about it, what did you learn, where did it lead you?
If you can look at it with gratitude rather than resentment then you’re golden!
Onwards and upwards for you my friend!
WAYS THOUGH SELF SABOTAGE
Talk to someone who’s been there and overcome it. Stop trying to do it on your own.
Become aware of WHEN you’re self sabotaging and WHAT is triggering it. Awareness is the key to all change.
Self sabotage stems from a lack of self belief or low confidence. So work on that. Just because you don’t feel confident right now, that doesn’t have to be your story forever.
The bottom line is that YOU are in control of this. YOU are in the driver’s seat and YOU can decide where you’re going. You just have to want it enough!
If you want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability then come join me in my private community below or book in a free discovery call to see if we’re a good fit to work together and get you out of self sabotage and into action taking to get the life you really want...it’s waiting!!!
For more information on this topic head over to https://www.franexcell.com/selfsabotage/
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